Diary of a Loner Kid By Corinne Asher

Suzy Has No Friends.  August 23, 2012

Dear Diary,

“Team No Friends” is a perfect way to describe me. If you see me alone, that’s the norm. I used to have friends but as we got older everything contained drama and I did not want to be a part of that. Not one bit. I am perfectly content with myself. I hang out with my family instead of friends because they are goofy. I guess that’s why I am so weird and have no friends. Goofy families always teach their kids to be goofy. It’s a common known fact, I would know.

“What do I do with my life?” You may be asking. Well I have a cat for starters. Her name is Lion. She doesn’t rawr though, just a normal kitty. Lion is my best friend. You may think that is lame, but to me I think it is awesome. Lion always listens to me and I never have to listen to any sassy comments in return.  Lion and I usually spend our weekends watching TV. Our favorite shows are old reruns of Friends or Sarah Palin’s Alaska and our favorite movie is Mean Girls. If you have never seen any of these I definitely recommend them.

I enjoy writing down my thoughts on paper. It’s like a whole book just about me. Sometimes Lion gets annoyed with me for always talking about myself and she cannot do the vice versa, so this journal allows me to talk solely about me. Since this book stays between you and me, I’d like to share with you a couple of secrets. These secrets shall form our bond for the next two years of high school I have ahead of me. What a nice bond it shall be.

1. I have a secret obsession with the Jonas Brothers.

2. I once had a dream that I told a big lie and was taken away.

3. I put on an act that I don’t want friends, but I really do.

 

Up, Up, & Away September 14, 2012

Dear Diary,

I’m not really sure why I’m not upset that I have to move to Alaska in the middle of my junior year, the MOST important year of high school let me remind you. I feel like I should feel some emotion towards the move. I honestly don’t know how I feel about this move yet because Alaska is probably just as boring as Oklahoma, just cold. Very cold. At least that’s how Sarah Palin’s Alaska displays it. I think the show is interesting but the thought of actually living in Alaska. Now that’s terrifying. I feel like it is going to be a land of freezing cold and endless boredom.

 I guess it’s just the thought of leaving the only city I’ve ever called home behind. I don’t have any friends here in my hometown of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma so it’s not like I’m sad about meeting new friends. Plus even if I had friends there would always be Facebook and Twitter for me to stay up to date. But that’s what my brother, Benton, will be using. Me, I stick to myself and Lion. I always tell Lion, “Me and you, just us two.” That’s the truth about Lion and my relationship. I would never replace him. Sometimes I wish I could replace my brother with a second cat. It’s not like Benton spends much time with the family anyways because he has so many friends. I don’t know how Benton is going to survive in Alaska. All he has ever known is a world filled with friends. Save it, I know what you’re thinking. “Your twin brother is the complete opposite of you!” Trust me I get it all the time. Well now he has to leave all of his friends behind. Maybe for once he will talk to me! I can always start with him as my first friend and gradually move on to more. Hmmm well I will give you updates on my friendship journey, no need to worry.

            I am going to go finish up my last bit of packing before we hit the road. I better say goodbye to some of the only places I’ve ever known. I better go hit up the Taco Bell down the street one last time, what good memories I have there. I also want to stop by the Dollar Store and buy one last pack of Glow sticks to remind me of my childhood. Last but not least I want to stare out at the farm scenery. This dry grass and unlimited amount cows surely will be incognito in Alaska.

Love, Suzy

 

Benton Shmenton September 15, 2012

Dear Diary,

Benton and I don’t really get along. As you can tell he is very social. Whereas I am not so much. Benton thinks he is far too cool for me. But in reality I am way too cool for him. My parents keep telling us that this move to Alaska will be good for Benton and me, that we will “Finally form our bond that will last a lifetime!” On the outside I pretend like my parents are so uncool and like that idea is so unbelievably lame. On the inside I am secretly dying for this to happen. I really want to scream out, “Benton be my friend!!!” But that’s desperate sounding. Do I want to sound desperate? Hah, no.

My dad always wanted popular kids. Good luck getting that to happen by making us move to Alaska during junior year. Well I can always hope for the best. I’ll take this move as a new opportunity to recreate my identity and become social. I want to make friends.

Love,

Suzy

 

It’s the Alaskan Air, I Swear September 30, 2012

Dear Diary,

You’ll never believe what happened today!!! Well first of all important information: I have officially arrived in Alaska! Second of all: BENTON TALKED TO ME! Our parents forced us to sit next to each other the whole plane ride there. Well they had to force him, not me. I’ve always been the good kid. So anyways, he talked to me! His exact words were “ Get out of the window seat Loner, that’s mine.” Ok so it’s not the best thing he could have said to me, but at least it was something.

I worked with what he said though. I grudgingly got up from my comfortable criss-cross-apple-sauce seating arrangement and scooted over to the aisle seat. All this just to keep him happy so that we can become friends. You know what? It worked. By golly oh molly it worked! We continued our conversation as it flourished into the times we had when we were kids. Once upon a time when I was the mean kid that beat him up. Don’t tell anyone though because Benton would kill me.

Anyways, the good news here is Benton and I have decided to rely on each other in Alaska. Believe it or not, we have one thing in common. Neither of us want to be in Alaska. We’re thriving on each other’s unhappiness. It’s a little twisted but I’ll accept it. It must be the Alaskan air, I swear.

Love,

Suzy

 

We Thrive on Rudeness October 10, 2012

Dear Diary,

Benton and my friendship is flourishing into the beautiful flower it should be. In case you were wondering, which I know you were, Alaska has made Benton and me friends. It’s official. It’s hard to believe but we actually do things together. It may just be because he doesn’t know anyone here yet. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that we are sharing a hotel room for the first month living in Alaska. You know, I’d like to forget that part and just make myself happy with the fact that we’re actually bonding for once.

            We went exploring this week, figuring out our way around town. We eventually got bored of the endless amounts of snow and limited amount of places to go and people to see. Benton found a missing cat flyer and we realized what we were going to do with our day. Now I bet you think you know what we did, searched for the cat and called the lady once we found her beloved missing cat. Well, we called the lady alright, but if you think it was to help her then you obviously don’t know much about me. Benton and my relationship thrives on torture. I’m sorry if what I’m about to tell you changes your opinion of us, but you’ve been warned. Benton and I called the lady’s number without searching for the cat at all. The best part is how our cell phone’s area code is still from Oklahoma so we told the lady that we found her cat in Oklahoma. I don’t think the lady thought it was as funny as we did because she hung up on us. Oh well it provided a chuckle to our dreary, snow filled day.

What do you know? Maybe Benton and I could get closer than we thought.

Love,

Suzy

 

Big Smiles All Around December 12, 2012

Dear Diary,

            Sorry I’ve been neglecting you for a while. Life has been nice here surprisingly. Benton and I are getting along swimmingly. Figuratively not literally, you can’t go swimming in Alaska LOL. Our relationship has become a beautiful lei of flowers, it’s grown so large now. We even text now! Granted, he usually only texts me to shut up or some inappropriate words that I don’t want to contaminate your ears with. Still, to me a text is a text no matter what it says. I reply to him multiple times and wait for his response which usually isn’t too lengthy but it still makes me happy!

            Here are some highlights from our first couple months together in Alaska:

–       We applied for jobs at Double Bubble just because we think it’s fun to be able to have people ask you “Where do you work?” and our response is “Double Bubble!” LOL.

–       We tried to put eyeliner on a homeless person. I think further explanation isn’t needed on this one.

–       We called up McDonalds and asked if we could host our wedding in their bathroom. Yes we did tell them we’re brother and sister. Yes, they denied that this would be legal and hung up on us.

–       We carved our favorite President’s face out of a bar of soap, I of course chose Richard Nixon

–       We spent an entire week talking exclusively in British accents to everyone.

I think that it is safe to say that I have officially taught Benton how to be a loner. I’m not too sure how he feels about this but what’s done is done. I’m going to be honest with you, I wasn’t so sure it was going to be able to happen. Benton was such a popular kid, I guess Alaska was just too much for him. Or maybe he has finally become one with our family and jumped the bandwagon on Team Goofy. What ever it is that has caused Benton and me to bond, thank God for it. I’m not really a religious person but thank God I made friends with my brother.

Love,

Suzy

 

Suzy Told a White Lie May 1, 2013

Dear Diary,

I am case #839 at the Alaskan Mental Institution. The nice people who work here tell me that I have created a whole life story in my mind. This story is how I wish my life was. Hate to break it to you, but I don’t have a brother. I have a full file on how crazy I am due to the desire to make random people my friends. In reality, according to these nice people, my life is being stranded in a strait jacket and kept on 24 hour watch because I am so crazy. I choose not to believe these nice people though. I still believe I have a brother and I still believe he is my only friend. I believe in myself because I am Suzy. Suzy and Lion against the world.

This may be my last journal entry for a while because the nice people said I’m going away again. If that is true, I hope you have a nice day. If you happen to see Lion please tell her I miss her. If these nice people are telling me the truth and I have actually lied to you, well I’m really sorry. I did not mean to. I hope we can still be friends. You can come visit me if you want. Just not next weekend, the Jonas Brothers will be in town. Oh one last thought to remember. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

Love, Your Best Friend Suzy.

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Diary of a Loner Kid By Corinne Asher

Suzy has no friends.  August 23, 2012

Dear Diary,

“Team No Friends” is a perfect way to describe me. If you see me alone, that’s the norm. I used to have friends but as we got older everything contained drama and I did not want to be a part of that. Not one bit. I am perfectly content with myself. I hang out with my family instead of friends because they are goofy. I guess that’s why I am so weird and have no friends. Goofy families always teach their kids to be goofy. It’s a common known fact, I would know.

“What do I do with my life?” You may be asking. Well I have a cat for starters. Her name is Lion. She doesn’t rawr though, just a normal kitty. Lion is my best friend. You may think that is lame, but to me I think it is awesome. Lion always listens to me and I never have to listen to any sassy comments in return.  Lion and I usually spend our weekends watching TV. Our favorite shows are old reruns of Friends or Sarah Palin’s Alaska and our favorite movie is Mean Girls. If you have never seen any of these I definitely recommend them.

I enjoy writing down my thoughts on paper. It’s like a whole book just about me. Sometimes Lion gets annoyed with me for always talking about myself and she cannot do the vice versa, so this journal allows me to talk solely about me. Since this book stays between you and me, I’d like to share with you a couple of secrets. These secrets shall form our bond for the next two years of high school I have ahead of me. What a nice bond it shall be.

1. I have a secret obsession with the Jonas Brothers.

2. I once had a dream that I told a big lie and was taken away.

3. I put on an act that I don’t want friends, but I really do.

Up, Up, & Away September 14, 2012

Dear Diary,

I’m not really sure why I’m not upset that I have to move to Alaska in the middle of my junior year, the MOST important year of high school let me remind you. I feel like I should feel some emotion towards the move. I honestly don’t know how I feel about this move yet because Alaska is probably just as boring as Oklahoma, just cold. Very cold. At least that’s how Sarah Palin’s Alaska displays it. I think the show is interesting but the thought of actually living in Alaska. Now that’s terrifying. I feel like it is going to be a land of freezing cold and endless boredom.

 I guess it’s just the thought of leaving the only city I’ve ever called home behind. I don’t have any friends here in my hometown of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma so it’s not like I’m sad about meeting new friends. Plus even if I had friends there would always be Facebook and Twitter for me to stay up to date. But that’s what my brother, Benton, will be using. Me, I stick to myself and Lion. I always tell Lion, “Me and you, just us two.” That’s the truth about Lion and my relationship. I would never replace him. Sometimes I wish I could replace my brother with a second cat. It’s not like Benton spends much time with the family anyways because he has so many friends. I don’t know how Benton is going to survive in Alaska. All he has ever known is a world filled with friends. Save it, I know what you’re thinking. “Your twin brother is the complete opposite of you!” Trust me I get it all the time. Well now he has to leave all of his friends behind. Maybe for once he will talk to me! I can always start with him as my first friend and gradually move on to more. Hmmm well I will give you updates on my friendship journey, no need to worry.

            I am going to go finish up my last bit of packing before we hit the road. I better say goodbye to some of the only places I’ve ever known. I better go hit up the Taco Bell down the street one last time, what good memories I have there. I also want to stop by the Dollar Store and buy one last pack of Glow sticks to remind me of my childhood. Last but not least I want to stare out at the farm scenery. This dry grass and unlimited amount cows surely will be incognito in Alaska.

Love, Suzy

Benton Shmenton September 15, 2012

Dear Diary,

Benton and I don’t really get along. As you can tell he is very social. Whereas I am not so much. Benton thinks he is far too cool for me. But in reality I am way too cool for him. My parents keep telling us that this move to Alaska will be good for Benton and me, that we will “Finally form our bond that will last a lifetime!” On the outside I pretend like my parents are so uncool and like that idea is so unbelievably lame. On the inside I am secretly dying for this to happen. I really want to scream out, “Benton be my friend!!!” But that’s desperate sounding. Do I want to sound desperate? Hah, no.

My dad always wanted popular kids. Good luck getting that to happen by making us move to Alaska during junior year. Well I can always hope for the best. I’ll take this move as a new opportunity to recreate my identity and become social. I want to make friends.

Love,

Suzy

 

It’s the Alaskan air, I swear September 30, 2012

Dear Diary,

You’ll never believe what happened today!!! Well first of all important information: I have officially arrived in Alaska! Second of all: BENTON TALKED TO ME! Our parents forced us to sit next to each other the whole plane ride there. Well they had to force him, not me. I’ve always been the good kid. So anyways, he talked to me! His exact words were “ Get out of the window seat Loner, that’s mine.” Ok so it’s not the best thing he could have said to me, but at least it was something.

I worked with what he said though. I grudgingly got up from my comfortable criss-cross-apple-sauce seating arrangement and scooted over to the aisle seat. All this just to keep him happy so that we can become friends. You know what? It worked. By golly oh molly it worked! We continued our conversation as it flourished into the times we had when we were kids. Once upon a time when I was the mean kid that beat him up. Don’t tell anyone though because Benton would kill me.

Anyways, the good news here is Benton and I have decided to rely on each other in Alaska. Believe it or not, we have one thing in common. Neither of us want to be in Alaska. We’re thriving on each other’s unhappiness. It’s a little twisted but I’ll accept it. It must be the Alaskan air, I swear.

Love,

Suzy

 

We Thrive on Rudeness October 10, 2012

Dear Diary,

Benton and my friendship is flourishing into the beautiful flower it should be. In case you were wondering, which I know you were, Alaska has made Benton and me friends. It’s official. It’s hard to believe but we actually do things together. It may just be because he doesn’t know anyone here yet. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that we are sharing a hotel room for the first month living in Alaska. You know, I’d like to forget that part and just make myself happy with the fact that we’re actually bonding for once.

            We went exploring this week, figuring out our way around town. We eventually got bored of the endless amounts of snow and limited amount of places to go and people to see. Benton found a missing cat flyer and we realized what we were going to do with our day. Now I bet you think you know what we did, searched for the cat and called the lady once we found her beloved missing cat. Well, we called the lady alright, but if you think it was to help her then you obviously don’t know much about me. Benton and my relationship thrives on torture. I’m sorry if what I’m about to tell you changes your opinion of us, but you’ve been warned. Benton and I called the lady’s number without searching for the cat at all. The best part is how our cell phone’s area code is still from Oklahoma so we told the lady that we found her cat in Oklahoma. I don’t think the lady thought it was as funny as we did because she hung up on us. Oh well it provided a chuckle to our dreary, snow filled day.

What do you know? Maybe Benton and I could get closer than we thought.

Love,

Suzy

 

Big Smiles All Around December 12, 2012

Dear Diary,

            Sorry I’ve been neglecting you for a while. Life has been nice here surprisingly. Benton and I are getting along swimmingly. Figuratively not literally, you can’t go swimming in Alaska LOL. Our relationship has become a beautiful lei of flowers, it’s grown so large now. We even text now! Granted, he usually only texts me to shut up or some inappropriate words that I don’t want to contaminate your ears with. Still, to me a text is a text no matter what it says. I reply to him multiple times and wait for his response which usually isn’t too lengthy but it still makes me happy!

            Here are some highlights from our first couple months together in Alaska:

–       We applied for jobs at Double Bubble just because we think it’s fun to be able to have people ask you “Where do you work?” and our response is “Double Bubble!” LOL.

–       We tried to put eyeliner on a homeless person. I think further explanation isn’t needed on this one.

–       We called up McDonalds and asked if we could host our wedding in their bathroom. Yes we did tell them we’re brother and sister. Yes, they denied that this would be legal and hung up on us.

–       We carved our favorite President’s face out of a bar of soap, I of course chose Richard Nixon

–       We spent an entire week talking exclusively in British accents to everyone.

I think that it is safe to say that I have officially taught Benton how to be a loner. I’m not too sure how he feels about this but what’s done is done. I’m going to be honest with you, I wasn’t so sure it was going to be able to happen. Benton was such a popular kid, I guess Alaska was just too much for him. Or maybe he has finally become one with our family and jumped the bandwagon on Team Goofy. What ever it is that has caused Benton and me to bond, thank God for it. I’m not really a religious person but thank God I made friends with my brother.

Love,

Suzy

 

Suzy Told a White Lie February 1, 2013

Dear Diary,

I am case #839 at the Alaskan Mental Institution. The nice people who work here tell me that I have created a whole life story in my mind. This story is how I wish my life was. Hate to break it to you, but I don’t have a brother. I have a full file on how crazy I am due to the desire to make random people my friends. In reality, according to these nice people, my life is being stranded in a strait jacket and kept on 24 hour watch because I am so crazy. I choose not to believe these nice people though. I still believe I have a brother and I still believe he is my only friend. I believe in myself because I am Suzy. Suzy and Lion against the world.

This may be my last journal entry for a while because the nice people said I’m going away again. If that is true, I hope you have a nice day. If you happen to see Lion please tell her I miss her. If these nice people are telling me the truth and I have actually lied to you, well I’m really sorry. I did not mean to. I hope we can still be friends. You can come visit me if you want. Just not next weekend, the Jonas Brothers will be in town. Oh one last thought to remember. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

Love your Best Friend Suzy.

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